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In a recent comprehensive analysis, Northwestern University psychologist Eli Finkel and collaborators claim that online dating sites not only don’t improve, but may even hurt those seeking happiness in their relationships.
It was natural enough that online dating services would develop and evolve over the past two decades.
Matching Online dating services pride themselves on having developed complex formulas, or algorithms, that will diagnose you and then apply this diagnosis to helping you find the perfect match uniquely qualified to be your ideal romantic partner.
However, even if they could come through on their claims (which I’ll examine in a minute), think about the logic of this process.
Some feature might pop out at you (particularly appearance) that causes you to think “Next?
Because you’re not meeting actual people, but instead examining their profiles, you’re not going through the normal give-and-take that occurs when people meet and talk for the first time.
As Finkel and his colleagues state, you may make “lazy, ill-informed decisions” because you’re selecting from such a large group of potential matches.
The mindset you develop in this process can also cause you to think of a romantic partner not as a person but as someone who is easily interchangeable with someone else.
The information you provide about yourself now describes who you are today, but it may have little to do with who you are in 10 or 20 years.
People develop in myriad ways throughout their lives, in response to changes within themselves over time and changes in their life circumstances.
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The growth of social media encourages internet-based connections with the people we know and love and the people we would like to get to know and love.