Jokes rules for dating my daughter

Paul: Well, maybe that's why your generation is so angry.

C: Referring to rapper Fiddy Cent as "Fifty Cents"?

I’m glad that you and Raina are having fun together.

She seems to have decided that you are, and that is HER PREROGA­TIVE and NICE FOR YOU. The minute Raina was born, she was Daddy’s little girl.

Cate: [reading Paul's last article] Okay readers, today we're having a little pop quiz, it's multiple choice, so sharpen your number 2 pencils and put your thinking caps on. Here's a quote: "Dad, you're an idiot." Now, contestants, this was said to me because of which of the following transgressions? Now do you know how many times I called my father an idiot? Because I know that whenever they insult me whether it's a "You're an idiot," "You're a geek," or an "I hate you," an "I love you" isn't far behind.

And Jesus isn't going to wanna back outta that dare! And my wife reassures me this is a good thing over and over and over, and she's always right. Well my house would be quieter, and I'd spend a lot less time in the bathroom, but no. Bridget: [to the tune of P-U-R-P-L-E, in the shower] Who's the girl with the pretty hair?

And don’t get me started on #Rule10 (go back and read it if you can’t remember it) that one just opens up a can of worms when your daughter is in a loving relationship. Kerry: Mom, Fred Doyle is planning on having dinner with Dad and Jesus in Heaven? Kerry: Yeah but Dad's spent three years avoiding the Doyle's annual barbecue, how's he gonna get outta that? [a little girl dressed as an angel comes to the door on Haloween accompanied by her father]Angel: Trick or Treat! Paul: Yeah, you may be an angel now, but in a few years you're going to be killing your father! [after Kyle gets off the phone with a girl named Lindsay]Kyle: Uh, Mr. Totally taking me out the loop creating a popularity vacuum and voila?! Bridget: I dunno; it's French, but magicians do it too. Cate: Yeah and Fred going on about the difference between electric and gas powered weed whackers. Back then we didn't share our deep personal feelings, our deepest conversations usually revolved around the tigers bull pen. There's not a feeling that my kids are afraid to express over and over and over. I mean Dad's a terrible liar, and Jesus is gonna be sitting right there.

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