Dating older gentleman

If you find it odd that his favourite bands are Genesis and ELO, then you will need to decide whether you can get used to that, or whether you will feel increasingly isolated.

Also remember that older men will have the same dilemma with any references you make – they may make them feel old and distant from you.

When you and your boyfriend hang out with your folks, it sometimes feels like they get along so much better than you do with any of them. It’s possible he’ll want to stay in on most Saturday nights or give you an alarmed look when you suggest going to a rave with your best friends.

Compromise can be tougher because you want such different things. Of course he’ll probably have more exes than you do, but it’s not so much the quantity, but the quality of them.

You might be fine with this, but it’s important to consider carefully. The last thing you should do is enter the relationship thinking ‘I’ll change his mind’ – you most probably won’t and it’s a huge gamble.

Most importantly talk everything through; these aren’t issues that are just going to go away.

When the age gap between you and your partner is enough to raise eyebrows, be prepared to deal with these drawbacks: He’s achieved different relationship milestones. You, on the other hand, might still be in that phase of wanting to try new things instead of knowing exactly who you are. Some people might not get why you’re with someone much older.

Meeting someone later in life means they’re more likely to have become set in their ways.

Their ideas about the way the world should work will be fully formed and it’s very unlikely they’ll change.

Clearly when dating a much older guy, it’s much more important to be on the same page than be the same age.

Giulia Simolo Giulia is a freelance writer living in Johannesburg, South Africa.

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